An Open Letter To My Southern Friends

Dear Readers, the spray lotion review will have to wait.  We have more pressing issues to discuss, such as SCHOOL SNOW DAY #7, which will occur tomorrow.

Hola Friends-in-Flip-Flops,

Firstly, let the record reflect that yes, you were right. You know who you are. Those of you who scratched your heads and wondered if it was really a good idea I relocate back to my hometown those many moons (aka 5 years to be exact) ago.  After all, hadn’t I spent 18 years wanting to escape? To find a new adventure and a life away from wrestling gyms and the like.  Was I prepared to return, after 14 years afar, to our nutsy collective families???  Every family has their drama, and being 1000 miles away, I only had to dabble in it.  Was I prepared to return to the thick of it?  Certainly, no one really ever leaves this quaint tri-state area and their family ties.  I can’t think of anyone who ever comes back.  So, yes, Southern friends, you were right, it was sheer lunacy to move back to my hometown…but not because of La Famiglia.  Because TOMORROW IS THE 7 th SNOW DAY MY KIDS HAVE HAD THIS YEAR.

Understand this.  These snow storms are nothing like I recall the ones of my childhood. The ones that would just last a day, provide Marshmallow Fluff snow suitable for sledding and snowpeople making, all while the sun was shining, keeping it just cold enough to not cause meltage.  Those snowstorms of yonder never nixed summer vacation or spring break.  They never exceeded the allotted 4 that were built in to the school year.  They were so rare, so beautiful and so fun, that I even think my parents used to play with us on said snow day.

Yeah, no so much circa 2014.  No one is playing in the ice/snow in the “feels like 3 degree” weather.  And today, at publish time of 9:32 PM with most of our county still out of power NO ONE IS SINGING, “Do you want to build a snowman?”

Tomorrow is snow day #7, and it isn’t even snowing, nor is any forecast….we didn’t even get any snow to earn today’s free time…just ice.  I am in such desperation that family members are taking off of work. I think people are concerned for my children’s well being.  Our morning began at 5 AM today when the alarm bells rang in my subconscious.  The power went out which was ok, until I realized that 1.) the iPad was not charged and 2.)  I donated my french press to Goodwill last year.  I couldn’t make coffee this morning.  I drink an absurd amount of caffeine in coffee form, and by 7:39 AM I was laying in the playroom under a pile of Thomas tracks speaking Farsi.

I am not sure what tomorrow will bring for local families.  Tonight, my kids’ had their elementary school spirit night at PJ Whelihan’s. Brilliant, right?  At least a Hoegaarden can help dull the edge of screaming kids dodging cute waitresses and running laps around the bar.  (Yes, that was my kid.  We are at the point we are just “embracing” his spirit. He was not curtailed in the least by the fact that his teacher was watching him.)  It was at that moment, at 5:14 PM as I was eating my first pretzel nugget drowned in gooey cheese that I heard a hushed whisper, and it grew like a Tsunami. NO SCHOOL TOMORROW DUE TO ICE AND POWER OUTAGES.


(Photo Inset:  Local Mother Upon Listening to the Superintendant’s Latest Phone Message)



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