Boys Are Gross …

… they really are.  Even the ones of my uber OCD clean friends.

In honor of all of our icky sons, I’ve decided to write a list of really spectaculary repulsive actions of these darlings.

This is going to be an interactive post.  Below is a collaborative list of some really fantastically gross boys.  They key word being collaborative- these are not all inspired by my own sons.  To protect the privacy of the future of this nation, all boys mentioned in this blog will remain anonymous.  If you have a son, I guaranteed they have assumed the role of at least one of the below.

*  “The Chatty Urinator”- So cliche, but it comes alive for all of us.  Ever go to sit on the toilet in your very own bathroom and sink into a fresh, warm pool of urine??  Then, you see archs of urine on the walls?  Clearly, while your son was urinating, someone was distracting him so instead of aiming his stream, he was bobbing all around.

*  “The Booger Phantom”-  Ever go to sit on the toilet in your very own bathroom, go to grab some toilet paper and find the roll dripping with snot?  The lazy child didn’t even bother ripping the toilet paper off the roll, he just blew right into it.

*  “The Non Flusher”- Ever go to sit on the toilet in your very own bathroom, look down, and see it overflowing with someone else fecal material?

*  “The Leaver of Poop Balls”- I have a friend whose son was so lazy at wiping his own behind that he would wad up toilet paper and just wedge it between his buns after #2.   In the course of the day, she would find  poo encrusted toilet paper wads throughout her house.

*    “The Toothpaste Spitter Who Just Ate Mini-Wheats”-  Ever look in a boy’s sink and find hardened tootpaste spittle fossils?  Even better, encased by the cereal they just ate, Frosted Mini Wheats being the most obvious?  One needs a sharpened chisel to remove.

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As I mentioned, this is a collaborative post…you can comment anonymously…bring it….

8 thoughts on “Boys Are Gross …

  1. ML says:

    A few thoughts since the proverbial door is open.

    1) “To protect the privacy of the future of this nation” seems to imply that these uncontrollably urinating underlings (including my own) can not afford to have their identities compromised due to their need for “clean” Google searches when they become politicians?..?

    2) I’m with Jamie. Poopie lives in the girls’ bathroom longer than in the boys’ at our house. And the girls’ bathroom counter mess is five fold.

    3) My wife has finally broken me of one of these aforementioned addictions/afflictions and several others that I can’t mention because it might affect “the future (or present) of this nation.”

    ML

  2. Jamie says:

    I don’t have boys, but my girls’ sink looks just like that and they are some big-time non-flushers. They are probably just as gross as your boys.

  3. beth trapani says:

    The constant nose-picking, sleeve wiping, crotch fondling, and butt scratching… then those sticky, grubby hands want to caress my hair. Nuh-uh!

  4. Name says:

    I once went to a grown boys house for the first time…when I had to use the bathroom I found a toilet full of poop and toilet paper. I turned around, went out and said “I don’t think you want me to go in there”. He wasn’t nearly as mortified (well, not at all actually) as I would have been. Still hard to shake the memory…

  5. Avery says:

    Well I certainly don’t have children, but as I’ve recently moved in with the boyfriend, this is relatable. My favorite: in the 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment, if you leave the bathroom door open there is a clear shot from the toilet to the television. The Boyfriend seems to think that instead of pausing, it’s perfectly acceptable to leave the door open while he poops, so he doesn’t miss a moment of Breaking Bad.

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