Category Archives: Religion

Yesterday and Tomorrow

Yesterday, I went to a particularly heartbreaking funeral.  Yes, most funerals, by definition, usually are.  This one, however, was soul crushing.  And, like most funerals, it was a startling reminder that very little matters in the world besides love, happiness, people.  Simple concepts that the Hobbitses mastered, but most of use mere mortal humans cannot.  It is so simple- be happy, love your family and friends.  Savor your freshly squeezed kale juice, don’t bitch when the Chik-fil-A line is 12 cars deep at 4:49 PM, and remember to tell your kid/spouse/dog/bearded dragon you think he/she/it is Ah-Mazing…EVERY SINGLE DAY.   Radiate gratitude for all the blessings you’ve been bestowed. The answer to life is so simple, yet we make the journey so hard.

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We humans have been given a special gift.  At our core, we are animals (Insert inane Facebook quiz here…what animal are you?  If I could shape shift  I’d aspire to be a jaguar, but I am probably a Bassett Hound…)  put on this planet to perpetuate the species. If you are a student of evolutionary science, you will know that through the vast chasm of time, species die out. We must constantly adapt to change to survive, we must continue to evolve.  We will, WE WILL be the animal species that doesn’t surrender, right?  Dear, sweet humans.  Mankind. We were granted intelligence and free will by INSERT YOUR HIGHER BEING HERE and most of us are unable to figure out the simple magic of humanity.

Including me.  I may be the worst offender.

All of my problems are FWP’s (First World Problems).   On any given day, my brain fritters over the most mundane.  I worry, or worst, complain about things that JUST DON’T MATTER.  I wonder if the pregnancy broken veins on my legs will ever disappear (I haven’t been pregnant in over 4 years…it doesn’t look good), or if …wait for it…I will never reach my full potential.  I mostly worry about my children- my amazing, vibrant, funny children- who laugh too loud and too often- will ever be able to rake a baseball, learn to read music or go to a “tier 1 college”. Guess what, self ?  IT JUST DOESN’T  MATTER.  And, as I  sheepishly type, I must admit, I complain a lot.  I get annoyed about non-life threatening issues  – like cold french fries.  And people who stick 30 activity magnets and stick figure families on the back of their cars.

It.just.doesn’t.matter.

I spent today absorbing every happy aspect of my life, as I will tomorrow.  And the next day.

I think of the people in my life who have recently lost the most important person in theirs.  You are so brave…

Real Reason

by Brian Andreas 

There are things you do because they feel right & they make no sense

& they may make no money

& it may be the Real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other’s cooking and say it was good

The Open Letter Forum

The time has come.  I feel an Open Letter Forum is upon us.  It is said, therefore it is written, hence, we commence a series of Open Letters.

A few samples on the platter include the following:

An Open Letter …

*  … to My Offspring, Apologies That I Pillaged Your Easter Baskets (again),

*  … to the CEO of UBER,

* … to the (alledged) Swingers (gasp!) of My Small Town,

* … Tiger Parents,

* … My Fellow Just Average Brethren,

* … Any Future Potential Employers,

* … The Hot Dads,

* … God, G-d, The Gods, Buddha, The Prophet, Etc., *

* …. My Future Daughters-In-Law,

* … Facebook Posters in Need of an Etiquette Class,

* … Drivers of Large Expensive Vehicles with Stick People, Organizational Activities, and Orthodontist Magnets Attached,

* … People Who Give Me Dirty Looks at the Grocery Store,

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Many of these letters have been inspired by recent text messages, GNO discussions, FB private messages, frantic and frequent phone calls and clandestine conversations in the preschool parking lot.  If you have an idea for an Open Letter, please message me.  You will remain anonymous, if you so choose.

*  This letter will have a sub-series of letters

The Season of Lent is Upon Us…an Interative Poll

For us over here moderately practicing Lutherans, (and one devout 8 year old)  the Lent season is hovering.  Beginning in exactly 1 week we have our Ash Wednesday kick off.

Each year, I make a stab at sacrificing something for Lent, but I always add so many clauses, it just never ends up …working out for me?!?  And, the great thing about being such a human weakling is that I can just attribute my insatiability and inability to resist carbohydrates or a nice Malbec to … my inane human weakness.

BUT NOT THIS YEAR, PEOPLE. NOT THIS YEAR. Not only will I have The Eldest who will hold me accountable, I will have you…(exactly who are some of you, by the way)?

So let’s take a gander and brainstorm together.

Firstly- 40 days of celibacy or abstaining from wine consumption are officially OFF the table.  It just makes no sense in this house.  I can find something more meaningful to sacrifice that The Good Lord will appreciate more than these two aforementioned actions which will negatively affect the other adult member of this house who does not participate in such Lent deprivation activities.  No need to have both adults in this house super cranky.  He actually gave an absolute forbidden and put his foot down. Sorta like I did when I decided “we” were relocating from Florida to Pennsylvania and “we” were having a 3 rd baby.  It doesn’t often happen, but when it does, you just say ok.

So, in my typical Modus Operandi, I just googled “how to decide what to give up for lent”.  This is the official Wiki guideline and once “we” decide the top 3 best ideas of what  to sacrifice, I will double check and make sure it fits the guildelines.

Once you’ve chosen what you’d like to give up, consider the following questions:

Is this something I like?
Is this something I enjoy doing/eating?
Is this something that’s important to me?
Do I think this will be a challenge throughout Lent?
Will I appreciate this when I can have/do it again on Easter?
Am I giving this up because I have to (someone is making me), or because I want to?
Is this a true sacrifice?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, you’ve chosen an excellent Lenten sacrifice.

Here’s my current brainstorm, please feel free to comment…

*  Really any type of decadent food.  Bloody steak, fried calamari, sushi (fried with lots of creamy drizzles), french onion soup, Cheez Itz BIG, seafood, tatertots, potato chips, Texas Toast … CHEESE…you get the picture.  Gluttony is my #1 sin.  I think…

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*  Coffee. I drink at least 6-8 Turbo cups a day.

*  The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Special Dutch Chocolate Powder.  Thank you, Kate (www.loveandknuckles.com), but now I have a bad habit…I am sniffing the canister as I type.

*  GUM. I am addicted to Orbit Bubblemint in the car carrier.  I chew at least 20 pieces a day.

*  Complaining…I never thought I was a big one to do so…but it has been recently revealed to me…that yes, indeed, I do…

*  Yelling….at The Husband, my children, the blind and deaf dogs ….

Thank you in advance as I will take a tally of all your votes and carefully consider my options.

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