I was mindlessly sitting in the sauna that is the Natatorium at West Chester U hoping that maybe I would shed a few pounds in water weight during The Middle Child’s 2 weeks of intensive swimming lessons. I had signed him up for the 1pm slot, and didn’t know anyone else in the viewing stands that I could mindlessly prattle on with, when suddenly, what to my wondering eyes should appear but….a gargantuan Louis Vuitton tote purse…with a … MONOGRAM. A standard machine stitched monogram. Truly apocalyptic.
There are many things wrong with this.
Firstly, I don’t like Louis Vuitton. There, I said it. And, in the land where LV purses prevail over all other designer bags, I am sure this is not a popular opinion. But, I’ve never been a fan. I find the patterned purses…tacky. And before 3/4 of you readers in the tri state area implode, it is. The most fashionable person in the world, who also happens to have the most enviable purse collection -Princess Nattles- also agrees. Was nothing more ghastly ever designed than the Murakami? A white leather purse with bright multicolor logos emblazened about like Tropical Skittles? Furthurmore, the brown logo is equally bothersome. I understand women who will spend a lot of money on fashionable high quality items, but that pattern just screams “I want everyone to know I spent thousands of dollars on my purse”.
Secondly, why on earth would you monogram a bag that cost over $3K? Not even my monogramming frenzied friends of Tallahassee would do something like that. (Yes, to monograms on all other items you could possibly imagine. Even toothbrushes.) If you are actually going to spend that kind of money on a purse, why would you even consider soiling the purity of the leather? What’s next? Little cartoon effigies of your family on your purse to match the stick people on the back of your car?
Again as you Louis Lover’s are considering shoving me into the microwave ala Haskins The Gremlin…consider the source. Seeing that I use a neon green BACKPACK as my main mode of stuff transportation, what do I know about style?