For the Love of All Things Human, Please Put on Some Underwear!

It has been brought to my attention that…SOME PEOPLE DON’T WEAR UNDERWEAR TO THE GYM TO WORKOUT.

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Pause.silence.reflection.

In general, I can’t say I understand people who don’t wear underwear on a daily basis.  I am not sure what the pluses are to leaving your knickers at home.  Even worse,  I am completely baffled by the people who would choose to not wear them and head over to the gym to run 6 miles and do an ab series.  Sweating profusely during their entire exercise routine. Ew.

As if I haven’t been traumatized enough by naked 80 yearold’s in the bathroom, now I am being subjected to bare naked parts thinly veiled by spandex? I don’t care if you can crack walnuts between your arse cheeks, there needs to be more buffer between your nether regions and my face .

I know I must sound like someone who lives on Juniper Creek, but can someone out there tell me what the pros are of going commando at the gym?  Underwear just doesn’t add to the laundry load. It should be the smallest piece of clothing you own.  If you live in the frozen tundra, like I do, your socks are more robust than your skivvies.

Clearly the women who are body pumping sans their Hanes Her Way haven’t bore children the non-surgical way.  My highly credible and educated sources in the women’s healthy industry tell me that many of women who’ve been through childbirth experience some degree of urine leakage during jumping jacks.    So you are essentially going to leave pee drippings in your pants then hop in your mini van and head down to the local park?  Or meet a girlfriend for lunch? OR GO BACK TO WORK???  I need a shower just thinking about this.  Only 5-7 year old boys would care to hang out in urine crusted pants.

One last thing you commando people- PLEASE do us a favor and leave your Lulu Luon’s at home should you decide to take any class involving stretching.  Because, YES, we can see EVERYTHING…and no, we don’t want to.

2 thoughts on “For the Love of All Things Human, Please Put on Some Underwear!

  1. Spark says:

    I hate to burst Josh’s bubble, but I would argue that the benefits do not come close to outweighing the negatives here. I couldn’t agree more with the Hyphenista AND I would like to add one more point on hygiene. That leakage (of any variety) in your see-through yoga pants is also bound to leak out onto whatever piece of workout equipment or restaurant chair you end up on. Umm, sweat is one thing, but now I have to be exposed to your leakage too? Smelling like some stranger’s pee isn’t really on my bucket list. Double EW!

  2. Josh says:

    Just because you asked…….. hehehehe

    Pros of Going Commando

    1. Better Air Circulation

    Not wearing underwear to bed is highly recommended because it gives your crotch a chance to “breathe” and get air to it. Leaving the underwear off during the daytime gives you the same health benefits. Because they trap heat and moisture, and hold it against the skin, underwear can help cause jock itch in men and vaginal yeast infections in women. Wearing “breathable” cotton is better than polyester or silk, but it still can cause problems.

    2. Less Laundry and Clothing Expense

    Another advantage is, you’ll save time and money on wash day since there won’t be any underwear in the laundry. Less laundry detergent, less water and energy. That, and since you’re not wearing underwear anymore, you can spend that money on other types of clothing.

    3. Going Commando Is Green

    Besides going greener in the laundry department, not wearing underwear will reduce landfill waste.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_commando

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