Much to the chagrin of my college roommate (Princess Nattles), my children’s babysitter (Kate R.), and my celebrity trivia source (Kate C., www.loveandknuckles.com), I don’t….WAIT FOR IT…watch Bravo TV. Idon’twatchBravoTV. Say it slowly and in unison…She doesn’t watch Bravo TV.
It is truly upsetting to the aforementioned people. For years they have collectively beseeched me to tune into just one episode of any Housewives series. Sadly, between watching shows centered on the zombie apocalypse, vampire porn and Savonarola’s bonfires, I just haven’t had the time to squeeze in Reality TV….yet.
Now I have compelling reason. I met, and (sort of) hung out with “The Robin Hood of Fashion”, Christos Garkinos, co-owner of Decades, Inc. a vintage and haute consignment retailer on Melrose, and co-star of the Bravo TV series “Dukes of Melrose”. (He may refute that we actually hung out, but if you exchange more than 3 sentences with me, you are on my official Christmas card list.)
So, how did this dented minivan driving, ratty yoga pant wearing, soccer/basketball/baseball/lacrosse/choir Mom from the ‘burbs of Philly get the opportunity to hang with someone so…cool?
Occasionally, if I promise to behave, I am able to accompany my husband on his business trips. Weeeeeeee. (It’s harder than you think to divvy up 3 rambunctious young children and two incontinent, obese teacup Chihuahuas.) Last weekend, his work took us to fundraising event in Tennessee to raise money for a local hospital.
Moments before heading into the pre-event cocktail party, I heard excited rumblings of “Christos from Bravo” being in attendance. He was graciously donating a portion of his sales to raise money for the hospital. Christos from Bravo? My husband uncharacteristically failed to produce a dossier in advance, so a quick text to Bravo expert, Princess Nattles, gave me enough to start a conversation. She informed me that Decades is bursting with consigned high-end wares adorned with the labels Chanel, Louboutin, Prada, etc. and that Christos and his business partner, Cameron, have a celebrity clientele. Ok, I read enough Vanity Fair and People magazine that I can muddle my way through general celebrite’, but I paused when hearing about the labels on display at Decades. Um, I don’t wear Chanel on a daily basis. In fact, I don’t own anything that says Chanel. (I am currently sitting at my kitchen table wrapped in a sweaterblanky from Anthropologie’s saleroom.)
I was momentarily paralyzed. Do I muster up as much acting chops as possible and play pretend? Do I throw caution to the wind and splurge on a pair of pink and grey sparkly Miu Miu heels? What is a housewife from the ‘burbs to do??? I was literally wearing the fanciest dress I’d ever purchased (besides my wedding gown), which was NOT on the sale rack at Anthropologie. As opulent as it was to me, it would be no Valentino to anyone with an expensive fashion palate. I nibbled ferociously on my newly shellacked Asphalt nails…
As usual, I just decided to be myself. Besides, if I tried to fake haute couture, I am certain his expertise would see right through my blinking Latisse saturated eyelashes. Right on, Christos proved to be extraordinarily approachable. He attentively listened during my closet confessional- where anything that was Decades-worthy is a hand-me-down from one of my much more hip friends. I explained that I have a handful of trendy compliment generating tops from high-end London boutiques…of course recycled from my friend Jamie (www.jamierich.me). Together, we perused the racks of opulent clothing. After draping my shoulders with a plush fur Oscar de la Renta bolero (I deadpanned, ”This would be fabulous for the December PTO meeting!”) and trying on some fabulous swanky buckled Louboutins (sadly, my monkey toes draped over the edges), I found something just right for me. I made off with a Marc by Marc Jacobs sweater dress. (To make it’s debut in the Dub-C tomorrow evening).
On my flight home I Internet stalked Christos. He loves his Mother! He turned down Harvard business school! He lived in France! He worked for Euro Disney! He really loves his Mother! And…wait for it…he and his partner are thinking of starting a family! If only I had known! Why did I fret about knowing which purse was Balenciaga? He may have been equally excited to discuss Baby Bjorn versus Ergobaby. I would have advised him that the ONLY diaper rash cream that is effective is Triple Paste. I could have given him pointers on how to deal with overzealous homeroom mothers. We could have bonded for hours and hours over that delicious champagne. Sigh.
One day, one day. When you are ready, twitter me Christos- we can discuss the perfect designer diaper bag….