… to the original Neanderthal Renaissance Man. The master chef of clam spaghetti, the wrangler of German Shepherds, the fisher of Valley Creek, the inventor of iced red wine, and the Female Colley Drama referee, who also…
- Left the delivery room shortly after I was born to resume coaching lacrosse practice
- Left my sister’s delivery shortly after the doctor announced, “it’s a girl” (he was given false hope she was going to have boy parts)
- Took us to the livestock auction every spring to pick out piglets, and then to the slaughterhouse in the fall to pick up the bacon
- Made us eat lima beans
- Taught us how to drive cars and shoot guns (lessons commencing at age 11)
- Asks on an annual basis, “when are you getting a nose job ?” (starting when I was 8 years old)
- Made us eat lima beans 3x per week
- Tickled us until we peed our pants (on the living room carpet)
- Even as he approaches the age of 70, flirts with mom friends
Albeit he rules #daddyissues #dysfunctionalchildhood, he was always eager to jump on a plane to help with babysitting duties, eats and appreciates all the leftover dinners my husband won’t, is the premier rescuer of bats and other creatures of the forest, is the best Megladon-DancesWithWolves-Braveheart-LordOfTheRings-Godzilla-movie watching partner, and secretly sensitive girl dad….
Happy Father’s Day, Coach!