How Has This Marriage Survived???

In November (or was it October? We were married a few times…), The Husband and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  We were an unlikely and whirlwind pairing masterminded by my boss, Chris, the late great Jeff and Uncle Larry.  It took them a year to get us together for the most disastrous blind date ever…did I mention we were both seeing other people?  A lot of other people?  Exactly a year to the day that the entire Braves stadium heard “Do you have combover???”, three Puerto Rican musicians serenaded me with traditional love songs and The Husband proposed…at a business dinner.  Fast forward a decade plus one year…

Besides the three children we produced that inherited none of my genetic material, it’s been an riveting 10 years.  3 moves, 2 almost moves, many new careers, honeymooning in Nelson Mandela’s jail cell, family drama, MORE family drama,  diabetic and cranky chihuahuas, blizzards,  etc. etc.   The Husband has saved me more than once- turning on my air tank during a shark dive is the first that comes to mind.  And, as he has admitted a few times in whisper mode, I might have returned the favor.  We still laugh a lot more than we ever fight.  The truth is, I can’t imagine going through life not hearing his never-ending sarcastic retorts…

Kate, AKA Almost A Housewife from Newport Beach Kate of sent me this Q&A.  Once she lands her talk show, she promises we will be her first guest hosts.


Carolina, Puerto Rico November 2003

Carolina, Puerto Rico November 2003

My first impression of you was….

The Hyphenista:   wow.  Are those jeans from the mid-eighties??  

The Husband:  … loud.  You came into Gordon Beirstch like a tornado – I don’t think I said anything besides hello for the first fifteen minutes….not much has changed, huh?  You also were in need of a cheeseburger.

Before we got married the thing I liked most about you was…..

The Hyphenista:    the stalking. I had never been stalked before.  A little creepy, but so flattering.  Also, I never knew debating Fox News every night could be such a turn on.

The Husband:    your income….it was very sexy to be out earned by a girl ten years my junior!  Now the thing I like most about you is….when you clean up after yourself – it happens so rarely that it had become a real beam of sunshine when it does occur!

 Now the thing I like most about you is….

The Hyphenista:  … how hairy you’ve become.  You know I always had a thing for the Monchhichis.  Loud and angry little Monchhichis.

The Husband:  … ummmm, it should be obvious.

On our wedding day I pictured us in 10 years……

The Hyphenista:   … A gaggle of kids, YOU working for ME, living in a place where other people vacation.

The Husband:  … tanner than we are…married in Puerto Rico, living in Florida, who would’ve seen these pale faces with winter pounds on them?!

My idea of a romantic date with you includes…

The Hyphenista:  …  the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The 300, Constantine, etc. eating Natural Cheetos….with no kids present.

The Husband:  …  breakfast.  Stealing away for a night and having a lazy morning with you are my favorite times when we sneak away together.  A newspaper, your eggs Benedict, and a view…

If I knew then what I know now I would….

The Hyphenista:  …  ask me that in my next life…

The Husband:  …  have gotten in on the ground floor with Game of Thrones and True Blood so we could actually spend some time together!

My fondest memories over the last 10 years include….

The Hyphenista: … 1.  The time in the Wendy’s drive-thru when I was pregnant with our Firstborn and they forgot to give me sour cream.  I started sobbing uncontrollably, and you were so sweet to drive right back through that long line and get me 3 sour creams.  

                                    2.  Holding my hand and coaxing me back onto the hospital bed after 9 excruciating centimeters without an epidural when I was trying to climb over the rails and escape into another dimension.

3.  When I was holding The Middle upright, trying to keep his airway open, an Epi-Pen jammed in his thigh while texting you that the ambulance was coming to our house and you responded, “…for a bee sting?”

The Husband:  … that time you went to the 2014 National Championship to root on FSU against Auburn and had me explain a first down to you, or the time you pouted because I made you take the stairs to the top of the Arc D’ Triomphe, or when you got mad at the people at the homeless shelter where we were serving when they didn’t want seconds of your food.  Classics all.

All you need is…love….all you need is love, love, love…love is all you need…

One thought on “How Has This Marriage Survived???

  1. Sarah Bolster says:

    Gina, you are hysterical! This is a great and highly entertaining piece of writing. Love the Q and A…may need to try that with my hubby for a few laughs.

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