My House is Not (that) Dirty!

(Stay patient, my little lotion inquisitors.  No matter WHAT, I will post about my experiences and review of spray on lotion tomorrow.  This snow-ice-noelectricity-pocalypse is providing a lot of fodder for discussion around these parts.)

I asked myself this morning as a SECOND friend denied my offer of facilities for use during this State of Emergency, is my house that filthy? Is the thought of using a shower in our home so revolting that even people I consider CLOSE friends would rather take sponge baths with tepid water from a pot heated in the fireplace than refresh in our abode? (And no, a partial generator or the fact that you have enough kids to fill a basketball team are not excuses.)

Let me backpedal a bit.  Before my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I decided to cohabitate  live in sin get married, there was a negotation session.  This was back during a time I faintly remember.  I was usually dressed in clothing that had no stains or rips, I was SUPER fun, and I could articulate my thoughts in sentences that were grammatically correct.  I also had not learned the art of passive aggressiveness and every clashing world view was a Battle of the Alphas. We had some doozies.  One being My Husband’s “standards of cleanliness”.  Big eye rolls would be appreciated now.  He inherits this from his mother- they are simply the cleanest most organized people I know. Who has time for such nonsense, says the woman with 8 messy piles on her kitchen counter and a desk that hasn’t seen the light of the sun for 5 years?  So a deal was made. As long as we lived together, I would be hiring and paying for someone who shared his “standards of cleanliness” to work magic in our house.

So, I am wondering, all you “friends” out there who I left messages for, WHO I BEGGED TO COME AND USE MY HOT WATER AND ELECTRICITY AND FEAST ON MARINARA, and who I have now learned haven’t had power for over 24 hours and chose to shower at the Y/ACAC…did you know? Did you that this storm has levened something worse that 7 snow days….it has prevented my house from being cleaned??

securedownload(Exhibit 1. The toy room. Can you see the red glitter paint on the carpet? Eek.)

Sure, ladies, your houses are always impeccable. Your toys are organized, you label your snacks.  You probably even iron your kids’ pants. Blah Blah Blah.  But, I have hot water.  And you should consider using it.  It’s getting a little ripe on this side of town…


One thought on “My House is Not (that) Dirty!

  1. Sparky says:

    Personally, I can’t understand it! I jump at the opportunity to stay your Casa any chance I get. The food is always delish and the vodka/wine/captain/champagne is flowing. Plus…I am sure to be entertained! You are fabulous hosts.
    Your local friends clearly do not know what they are missing!
    p.s. Friends, trust me…it could be worse! Their rooms could smell like snake skin. And I don’t mean the aroma of recently purchased snake skin pumps from Nordy’s. I mean skin that literally just fell off a pet snake. Ask The Hyphenista!

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