Naked Old Lady in the Locker Room- Celebrate With Pride or Run and Hide?

I am fairly certain that I should be ashamed of myself. The other day, after using the lavatory facilities at the gym, I was washing my hands thinking about everyday mundane things like how deliciously crisp the bean sprouts were in last night’s dinner from King Wok. (I think about food a lot). When suddenly, my daydream of Asian delicacies was interrupted. By a naked old lady.

She brazenly slammed the bathroom door open, and emerged in all her what I estimated to be 80 years of naked glory…and made eye contact with me in the mirror. I recoiled and felt such a mixture of emotions- shock, alarm, a bit of pride? I immediately thought of when my husband was in a hot tub with a naked member of Duran Duran at the Hard Rock. WWGD?* Was she going to speak to me? My eyes always betray my thoughts- ask anyone in my circle and they will tell you I am a horrific liar. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I quickly averted my eyes and to safety around the corner. Coward!


I am not overly modest, but I can’t envision a scenario where I’d be sashaying around a locker room in 40 + years drooping all about. I can’t imagine being naked in a semi-public place now! 80 years is a long time of living and is not kind to the flesh. But, as frightening as it was to look at this woman, I realized that I admired her. She clearly had not a care that everyone in the locker room was staring at her- and everyone was.

As I furtively peaked around the corner, I watched her with her head held high; she slowly shuffled back to her locker and went on about her dressing. How refreshing to be so carefree…right?

* When we used to be really fun, Gregg and I went to Vegas. A lot. On one of our trips, Gregg was using the spa facilities at The Hard Rock Hotel when Simon LeBon- in all his naked glory- sauntered out of the steam room and struck up a conversation with Gregg, who wondered if aging rockers don’t know that naked men don’t speak to other naked men….

4 thoughts on “Naked Old Lady in the Locker Room- Celebrate With Pride or Run and Hide?

  1. Jamie says:

    Ohhhh girl- you’ve got to grow some balls and then let them hang out! Or at least just start with your own fun bags in the Y locker room. I figured you were at least 50 percent earth mother – nursing your kids for nearly a year and all – don’t lose your inner anthropologist!

    • ginacolley says:

      I never shower at the gym. Why would I do such a thing? That would mean I have to waste another outfit that day and do more laundry.

      I feel like our dual bfeeding on the double decker was plenty earth mother for me..

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