Parenting Fail #498621, The Disasterous Pumpkin Cupcake Episode

Know this, the following tasks needed to be completed TODAY to ensure a weekend of utter parental devotion to the childrens’ Halloween experience:

  1.  Correction of question #1 on COM502 midterm, core concept theory, requiring an entire Chapter 3 focused re-read and examination
  2. Two page critical analysis on survey research along with an inventive handout to be created for Tuesday evening’s grad school class
  3. Actual grad school homework and reading- again, due Tuesday
  4. (Please note procrastination methods to avoid completing tasks #1 & #2 & #3, have resorted to this blog entry, only a mere 4 months after the last, to delay school work)
  5. Puppy dog required long, long walk
  6. 4 year old daughter demanded to be fed, entertained and cared for
  7. November promotional campaign was to be created for client


None of these crucial tasks were completed, due to my primordial urge to create the perfect sweet treat for The Middle’s Halloween party tomorrow.  Overshadowed by the extroverted blue eyed children in the house, (The Eldest could outtalk Trump and Baby Girl is an impish wave of toothy snorts and giggles), the only true introvert in this house, The Middle, NEEDS MY FOCUS.  He’s who inspires my 3 a.m. wake ups in a sea of worry.  You know, because he’s the middle child and neglected and desires the love and attention from me that only a soft ‘n’ fluffy Pinterest worthy cupcake could provide.

Oy vey.

Did I mention my oven is broken?  Well, my oven is broken, which throws a curve ball in this whole “I will bake ze cupcakes and ze children vill lov zem”  theory, so I had to venture to my pal, KM’s house, to gossip, discuss crucial PTO business, ascertain the meaning of life to make and bake 23 nut-free cupcakes.  I should have cut bait an hour into the cupcake making when I realized I failed to add the 1 cup of water to the batter.  At that point, either I should have the sense that the gods gave a goat to head on up to Giant and buy a tray of the delicious Lofthouse soft butter frosted Halloween cookies the children will want anyway, but noooooo, I endeavored to persevere.  An hour of cupcake making turned into two, my daughter marathoned on Sophia the First and overdosed on Hershey Cookies ‘N Cream miniatures… and this happened.  The “M&M pumpkin with a Laffy Taffy stem nestled in the chocolate jimmie soil”.  It really just doesn’t look so appetizing.  In my defense, I felt like I had to appeal to the 8 year old crowd, you know? Therefore, by adding the premade-hard-as-rock-confection-pumpkin-that-someone-will-break-a-tooth-on really enhances this cupcake experience, right? It’s like the M&M pumpkin birthing the perfect Great Pumpkin??  Calling Giant bakery, stat.

pumpkin cupcake

Seriously, would you eat this?  


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