Seriously ???

I realize that this is a completely absurd 1 st world problem post, as we may be on the precipice of war with Russia, the new national budget was unveiled today, AND CHIPOTLE MIGHT STOP SERVING GUACAMOLE IF CLIMATE CHANGE GETS WORSE, but bear with me.  If you have a rookery of children, you will know exactly how I feel.

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Allow me to introduce Exhibit A, above.  Exhibit A is was my funky Jasper & Jeera purse.  It is the perfect purse for me, bursting with bold color and intricate stitching, one zipper to hold all of my junk in, one durable strap, and I am fairly certain I found it in sale room at Anthropologie.  I love this purse.

So, this morning, when I reached in to retrieve my checkbook (I know, how antiquated of me. I … still  … write …checks…) my hand emerged soaked in …Children’s Liquid Claritin.  For *($(#* sakes.

I step in chihuahua droppings at least once a day, sit on puddles of pee (that are not mine) on my toilet seat and I haven’t sat down to eat a meal in my kitchen in 8 years.  These children o’ mine have destroyed my car, my favorite fluffy white bath towels, my abdominals…BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH.  Not my purse, my favorite purse.

Can I even blame The Middle? I told him to put the bottle in my purse, assuming that he would not try to dismantle the childproof cap, although this is a big hobby of his.  Such a rookie mistake.

So, unless anyone has an ideas how to remove grape liquid medicine from suede, someone cue in Celine Dion and the #9 of all time funeral songs “My Heart Will Go On”, to further rub salt in my wounds.

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