The topic of spray-on lotion came up last August in Key West at the annual Florida State Tri Delta reunion weekend. As we were laying by the pool, discussing the weather and such nonsense, Ashley triumphantly whipped out a bottle of Vaseline Spray & Go (it just sounds kind of dirty, doesn’t it?). A current resident of the Bahamas, she was tickled that she was able to purchase a bottle for $4.59 versus the typical $29.99 she’d spend at the Bahamian version of CVS. She raved, yet I was skeptical. And, as with most thoughts, I tucked this little tidbit in the back of my cerebral cortex for another day.
That day came a month later as I was watching television. Typically, my attention is only devoted to my current favorite cable tv series. Yet, I hold onto 2 primetime broadcast tv network shoes. Yes, I am still waiting for Grissom to return on CSI, and…I.still.watch.Grey’s.Anatomy. So, it was during one of these shows that a catchy little tune was whistled by a woman who sprayed herself with lotion SAVING SO MUCH TIME IN HER BUSY DAY.
Say what? Spraying on lotion versus rubbing it in ones dermis saves critical minutes in ones day? I tweeted my thoughts on the topic and was challenged to test out the “Spray & Go”.
So, here we are, about 6 months later, when a little ding dong goes of in ye olde cerebral cortex and I remember I must try the Spray & Go. Last Saturday, I chose The Middle, my #1 draft pick for errand running, and we went on a Target run. We landed in the lotion aisle and I felt a mild panic. I just stared at the shelf for what seemed like hours, biting three of my nails to the quick. Oy vey. Where do I start? There were 6 shelves devoted to spray-on type lotions. Ashley swore by the Vaseline brand, but I didn’t like the flavors. Only aloe and cocoa butter were left. I trend towards lemongrassy/grapefruitee type scents, so no dicey with the Vaseline. St. Ives had one bottle of “invigorating” grapefruit left. (P.S. If this goes viral, (right), can St. Ives sue me for defamation of character?)
I took a gander.
Hmph. I am not sure what the upside is to the spray-on lotion. It’s cold…really, really cold. The label says “invigorating”, should I interpret this as a positive spin on cold? Perhaps I am a bit jaded as my core temperature is off seeing that I am trapped in the worst winter the Northeast has seen in a century, but the spray-on lotion is, as I mentioned, chilly. It also didn’t save me any time. I had to rub lines of foam into my skin. How is this different from regular lotion? My 3 test subjects were not overly enthusiastic or invigorated, either. Did I mention it’s cold?
There you go, folks. It’s 10:55 PM in the frigid ‘burbs and I am sorry to report, Ashley, but the “Spray & Go” is a no go.