Taxation without Hydration….

In the 5 years since we left the warm and sunny flatlands of northern Florida, we are once and awhile hit with a wave of nostalgia for the Sunshine State that we once called home.  You may be hypothesizing where I am going with this one….but, no, I am not going to drive my soul further into the abyss of depression that this horrid Winter has inspired by discussing the impending 4″-8″ of snow forecast for Monday.

No, it would be the extra special taxes we have the priviledge of paying while living in the grande blue state of Pennsylvania.

Let me begin by telling you a tale of how we became deliquent on one of our tax bills a few years back, 4 1/2  years to be approximate.  It was the Winter we moved here, not dissimiliar to this one.  (I cried. a lot.)  Spring was about to be sprung, and as I was zippity doo da-ing down to the mailbox.  I am one of those people who rips open mail at the box, so when I tore into a generic looking envelope and unfolded a bill not unlike the one below, I laughed.  SCAM! I cried. SCAM!  I shall not be scammed. Fire hydrant assessment? What the what?  I only saved the “bill” to show my husband so we could guffaw together at the ridiculousness.

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So the Husband decides to call the Township (for those of you not living in one of the original 13 Colonies, this is some ole English municipality like a town, but not really).  He gets in touch of a live person and informs them that someone is running a scam:  “there’s someone typing up a bogus bill on a Word document and saying we should pay you by sending $66 to a PO Box – thought you should know”.  The ‘live person’ who later would collect our permitting fee on our back patio (with treble payments as the Husband tried to scam them) said “Sir, I’m the one who types up the bill for the fire hydrant assesment , and I can assure you it’s quite real…..and, it turns out the previous owner didn’t pay last year, so with penalties and interest you now owe $130 – thanks for calling”.

So, friends, it turns out that Fire Hydrant “Assessments” are for real.  It was after I received the 3rd “You are Deliquent Bill” from our township treasurer, who on an ironic note, was the mother of two of my high school hockey/lacrosse teammates. We now pay this bill immediately when it comes in.  Good times.

On a positive note, at least we don’t have to pay that icky Ad Valorem tax imposed on Georgia residents.  That was a super annoying whildst living in the Peach State.  Who pays taxes on a Beetle Bug?  What about you – any fun taxes that make you smile?

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