I have far more pressing items to be posting about tonight- i.e. an open letter to the CEO of the hottest new app around- but my brain is transfixed. In only 5 days…my Mother-in-Law will be returning to the Frozen Tundra for a brief visit to celebrate her current favorite grandchild (lo siento, Davide…your reign was long)
my her baby boy’s (The Husband, AKA The Chosen One) daughter’s 3rd birthday. And whildst her primary residence is a mere 15 minutes away, she will be staying in my guest room. While there are many benefits to having another adult in this house, mainly, I CAN LEAVE, there are just a few teensy molehills to navigate. So, once again, this is an interactive post. I am in need of some advice…
1. Do I bother cleaning? Realistically, no matter how clean I think this house is, this woman will bust in with Pine Sol bottles like Rambo with an M60 and a belt of Magic Erasers strapped to her chest. Do I make a feeble attempt so there are only 1/4 the normal amount of chihuahua hair balls rolling about or do I just get out of the way?
2. Do I go along with the infinite adoration of HER son/my husband, as she rambles on and on about how lucky I am? Look, I love him too, but he’s hardly perfect….
3. Do I bribe
the children The Middle? This woman, an Army Officer’s wife, wears a blue blazer and uses a linen napkin to eat Friday pizza. She has a 1950’s aura about her- especially when it comes to manners. Of all the 8 grandchildren, guess who loves to antagonize her with poopie jokes at the dinner table? Yep, The Middle. The Eldest is such a brown noser, he is smart enough to throw up his pleases and thank you’s, and The Nosy Meap sits on her lap and giggles,(and looks exactly like her previously mentioned Sainted father) but The Middle loves to flash her, burp uncontrollably and … the worse sin of the lot, IGNORE HER DISCIPLINE. Do I just promise him a case of Hershey bars if he acts…normal?
All advice will be considered. I thank you in advance…..in the meantime, it’s off to the State Store to buy some beverages….and for the record, I actually like my mother in law, and I love being a hostess and buying the three kinds of milk she requires (one for coffee, one for cereal, and one for baking). Plus, she does my ironing – or more acurately her grandson’s ironing….but still…..vodka…..