I truly intended to keep politics off my blog. Way too dicey with my audience. Me, I am a true and tested Demliblican, but I share bloodlines and friendships with Reds and Blues alike. After further review, I must make an exception as I do enjoy controversy and I believe the 2012 election cycle has provided just too much! Sadly, starting this late I have missed the boat on Bachmann-Perry-Paul- Cain (I miss you so much already, Herman) but thankfully Newt Gingrich is the gift that just keeps on giving….
In a recent ABC interview, candidate Gingrich’s ex-wife (aka woman he told “this is forever” – #2) claimed he asked her to adopt an open marriage policy. I had to stop and pause. Open marriage…what an interesting concept. If I am to understand this correctly, the wife in the marriage is to tolerate her husband’s affairs, and maybe enjoy some of her own. Hmph. Insert dream sequence about me here….
As the fake fog clears to reveal a usual morning – Gregg coming to me, maybe while we are enjoying a nice breakfast of turkey sausage patties, eggs over easy and crispy hash browns. (One of Gregg’s past professions was as a Perkins breakfast cook. We reap the benefits daily.)
Gregg: “I’ve been thinking- um, maybe we should shake things up around here….”
Gina: “You thinking eggbeaters? I’d rather go egg whites than eggbeaters. They have a cardboard-y aftertaste. Either way, Jamie would be so proud.”
Gregg: “The thing is, you want me all to yourself, and I want to date other women…there’s a moral-less blonde who I met in Houston Phoenix Nashville Hartford Knoxville Tampa who doesn’t seem to care….
CUE IN: Baby screaming, Oldest asking for 2nd helping of pancakes and E making snowballs outside in his pajamas.
THE REALITY SHATTERED. Who exactly has time for ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP in their life?? Especially someone who not only has children, a wife, but has a big boy job- at the time- he couldn’t really “slack” at Speaker of the House. What man needs twice the dramatic phone calls while he’s trying to get things done, and more importantly, WHAT WOMAN NEEDS A SECOND ONE OF THESE SMELLY MEN?
Seriously, I need another guy running around here naked singing “naked booty, naked booty” and peeing on my toilet seat like I need a sharp stick in the eye. Oh, wait, more talk about the Phillies? Super.
By damn, if I am involved in an “open marriage” I better have sister wives who help clean my house and care for my kids – I can be down with the Big Love style fun…..someone who can find/work the vacuum cleaner? Sign me up!