To Viewers Cheering on Team USA Versus Portugal:

Apologies, ladies, I am 10 days too late on this post.  I have disserviced you by not promoting FIFA 2014 World Cup games.  For those of you just stumbing upon tonight’s match, USA versus Portugal, welcome to the party.  If you have no earthly idea what I am referring to, adjust your channel to ESPN.  Now. You have about 3 minutes and 9 seconds left to drool.  No one told you about the hotness quotient in male soccer, did they???

I would consider myself somewhat of an authority on male athletic hotness.  (I also consider myself the area’s foremost expert on Hot Dads.  Alas, that is a post for another day.)  My dossier is rather impressive.  The years of my youth were spent dragged to high school wrestling and lacrosse matches that my Dad coached.  I spent 4 years at THE Florida State University, and currently, the years of my prime are being whittled away as I watch my husband watch soccer, football and baseball day-after-day, year-after-year, decade-after-decade.  I am exposed to a lot of professional male athletes … and hands down, the greatest concentration of beautiful ones kick around an Adidas Brazuca ball.

To quote my friend Heather, currently on social media, “Is being HOT a requirement to play professional soccer?.  Why, yes, Heather, it is.   Team Portugal is too easy- they could all sign Armani contracts tomorrow.  My personal favorite?  Take a gander at this yummy little cupcake, USA’s own Graham Zusi.  Just saying his name makes me flush and giggly. Zusi-Zusi-Zuuuuusi.  images-2

 

Doesn’t he just make you all hot and bothered?

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